TDIH: Bess Truman

Do you know about her love story with Harry?

On this day in 1982, Bess Truman passes away. Much could be said and written about the former First Lady and her husband, of course, but do you know about their unique love story?

The two first met when Harry’s family moved to Independence, Missouri. Harry was then just six years old, and Bess was five.

“We made a number of new acquaintances,” Harry later described, “and I became interested in one in particular. She had golden curls and has, to this day, the most beautiful blue eyes. We went to Sunday school, public school from the fifth grade through high school . . . . For me she still has the blue eyes and golden hair of yesteryear.”

Harry was instantly smitten, but Bess was not. To the contrary, poor Harry had trouble. He tried to befriend Bess in high school, but she held him at arm’s length. “I was lucky if I got to carry her books home [from school] for her sometimes,” Harry later laughed.

They drifted apart after high school, at least for a little while. Harry had moved, pursuing work. In the meantime, Bess’s family moved after her father tragically committed suicide. When she finally returned to Missouri, she and her mother moved into Bess’s grandparents’ home.

That house just happened to be across the street from Harry’s aunt and uncle.

“[Harry] was here one day,” his cousin remembered, “and said to his [Aunt] he’d surely like to see Bess . . . . there was a plate still here on which a cake had been brought over and not yet returned. If he would take it across the street, just maybe, Bess might come to the door. She did . . . .”

Harry still didn’t live in Independence, so his courtship of Bess would proceed via handwritten letter.

He was soon writing weekly. “I sincerely hope you won’t get disgusted with my excuses for letters,” he wrote her in January 1911, “for I sure do like to hear from you.”

But Harry and his feelings were moving faster than Bess. In June, he took a rash step: He proposed marriage, via letter. “I’ve been crazy about you ever since we went to Sunday school together,” he confessed.

Would you believe Bess did not respond? Nor did she respond to a second letter. A third letter in July got her attention, although her specific response is lost to history.

She’d rejected his proposal, and things were awkward at first. Nevertheless, Harry persevered, and they managed to salvage their friendship. Finally, in November 1913, Bess told him she’d changed her mind.

They had a long engagement, partly because of World War I, but they finally married on June 28, 1919.

Bess had become Harry’s staunchest supporter and biggest fan—even following him to Washington, far away from her beloved home.

Would he have succeeded half as well without her? She worked alongside him, whether that meant answering correspondence, working as a clerk, drafting speeches, or persevering through a massive White House restoration.

He valued her advice and asked for it. One notable exception occurred at the end of World War II.

“[Bess] grew furious when Harry did not consult her before dropping the atomic bomb on Japan,” the Harry S. Truman Library & Museum explains. “Their daughter Margaret later wrote that Bess ‘had become a spectator rather than a partner in Harry Truman’s presidency. That made her very angry.’”

Nevertheless, their marriage was strong, and they overcame.

Indeed, on their 38th wedding anniversary, Harry’s gift to Bess was a list: During each year of their life, what had been happening?

“It is not the super sappy, romantic letter,” a Truman Library archivist notes. “He has some of those—but this one is sweet in a different way. . . . everything that was going on with [these events] impacted their relationship. They survived it together.”

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